Missin you

I wonder what my life would be like if Danen hadn't died.

I will never forget the day he died. I had been with him in St. Simon's two nights before. We met up, hugged, and planned on seeing each other later that night. We were becoming somewhat of an item and I was so excited. We had kissed a few days before then and couldn't wait to spend more time together. He called me after the fireworks (it was 4th of july in St. Simons) and I decided not to meet up with him because it was late. When I got home we had about a 3o minute convo on the phone...it was only the 2nd time we had a really serious conversation. I remember him telling me that he liked me because I was different. We were "party friends" together because we both didn't drink. At prom, we ended up sleeping on the floor together (because thats what you do after prom at a huge party with people sleeping everywhere) and had our first kiss. I remember him holding me and he felt so warm. Something that I held onto when I saw his body that was very cold after the accident. I was sleeping the morning he died and Britt had called me hundreds of times. I was still in St. Simons, he had gone home the day before and I stayed. Brittany told me he had drown and I literally screamed. I went in the bathroom and just screamed. I didn't know what else to do. For hours I stared at my phone at our text messages at some of his voicemails..and just sat there. His death was probably one of the hardest things to get over. The sudden-ness of it, and the fragile vulnerable place I was with him was so unfinished and left me really really sad. Honestly, it still hits a very soft place in my heart..

I miss this man of God.