Missin you

I wonder what my life would be like if Danen hadn't died.

I will never forget the day he died. I had been with him in St. Simon's two nights before. We met up, hugged, and planned on seeing each other later that night. We were becoming somewhat of an item and I was so excited. We had kissed a few days before then and couldn't wait to spend more time together. He called me after the fireworks (it was 4th of july in St. Simons) and I decided not to meet up with him because it was late. When I got home we had about a 3o minute convo on the phone...it was only the 2nd time we had a really serious conversation. I remember him telling me that he liked me because I was different. We were "party friends" together because we both didn't drink. At prom, we ended up sleeping on the floor together (because thats what you do after prom at a huge party with people sleeping everywhere) and had our first kiss. I remember him holding me and he felt so warm. Something that I held onto when I saw his body that was very cold after the accident. I was sleeping the morning he died and Britt had called me hundreds of times. I was still in St. Simons, he had gone home the day before and I stayed. Brittany told me he had drown and I literally screamed. I went in the bathroom and just screamed. I didn't know what else to do. For hours I stared at my phone at our text messages at some of his voicemails..and just sat there. His death was probably one of the hardest things to get over. The sudden-ness of it, and the fragile vulnerable place I was with him was so unfinished and left me really really sad. Honestly, it still hits a very soft place in my heart..

I miss this man of God.

Crazy Cat!

While I was posting about my new bun obsession, my cat was just chillin like this...I had to snap a photo! haha

Roe

Big Buns

I have several things to write about...which I will..Tomorrow..but for tonight.. I just want to share with you that I am all about some large buns...I think they are pretty. and Asian. In a good way

Haley Roe

Mamma's slide!

I am miserably bored at Alex's house as he does homework...so I went through his pictures on his computer..and found this...

In Colorado Springs my family had a vacation and my mom went down the slide...It really makes me laugh!

Haley

I miss

Having Roomies who are my best friends
AOPI's and all our extravagant activities!
Spending time with this boy
My New York Diva
Filming!

Roe

Birthday Boy

Happy Birthday to my precious angel!!

Can't wait for your Cowboy Party this weekend!!

I would rather not have feet!

This is not a gossip site I am aware. I also don't believe too many people read this who I wouldn't share this with. I had the worst Valentines weekend ever. But, who knew, I would find this out. I could try to write a sappy love post. But I don't feel sappy. So here it is 100% real with my best friend in the entire world.
Amanda: no he didnt do anything wrong

me: can i tell you something

Amanda: yuppp

?!!?

me: i do think he did something wrong. (Too intimate to share)

BUT. honestly, i have never appreciated him more..its so weird

like when it happened, i didnt know what the details were

i didnt know if ......(too intimate)

10:46 AM but for several house (i didnt sleep one wink that night)

i thought about all the guys that i fantasized about

i thought about wanting to kiss *****, and a guy from teen wolf who asked me out, and a guy i met in athens and all these people that when i get bored, i will text or imagine kissing

10:47 AM and they were nothing.

they were absolutely nothing.

i realized when i thought that i might lose him, that i only want him

ONLY him

and that it hurts that he couldnt say Im in love with haley and i need to leave

because i couldnt say that before

10:48 AM i didnt have the balls to tell a guy, look you are so great and cute, but i am madly in love with someone else

and last night, when he was laying here, i looked at him, and i knew with all my heart that i was going to marry him

100% goign to be with him forever

10:49 AM Amanda: awwww!!!

me: i love him more than i can even tell you

Amanda: that's sooo wonderful

that's sooo great

me: and it took me hurting really badly

Amanda: makes me so happy for you!!

me: to realize that he is 100% the man i will be with forever

Amanda: yea absolutely. makes complete sense :)

well what a great thing to find peace in!

me: i have never felt certain

like when you say "you just know"

but i just know

i 100% know

Amanda: uh huh :)

10:50 AM that's a-mazing

me: i know :)

and what is so cool to think about

is if i had moved out to LA

if i had just done it

or just moved to NYC in February

i can guarantee you i would not say that

or maybe ever say that

Amanda: yupppp

everything happens for a reason!

10:51 AM me: omg amanda

Amanda: and u had to have a different path than you thought to realize that

me: im going to marrry him

holy shit

Amanda: hehehe :)

do it already!! :)

10:53 AM me: haha

we are broke as a joke on coke

you are my best friend

i want you to be the one who is reminding me of this conversation

when i am freaking out at the alter

Amanda: hahahah fair enough!!!

hahaah cold feet!! you definitely will , but u wont at the same time

i wonder if i will!!

10:58 AM me: haha no you wont

i wont either

if we know its the lords plan, there are no cold feet

if you go into it without god

well i would rather not even have feet

Narnia!

My Cat is so Purrrrty-- hahaha

How Many 50 year olds can do that?

My Mom has Multiple Sclerosis...

My Mom used to be a dancer..

She may not be able to walk without a cane, but homegirl can seriously stretch!!

She is my inspiration

Skype Me!

Right now, I am currently watching Alex sleep. On the computer that is...we are skyping..Something that I have come OH so grateful for..

In NY we would have dinner dates and eat together

When he was at BYU we would fall asleep with the computer on and wake up and see each other

and now, well we skype every single night. It's pretty entertaining and sometimes we just turn it on and go about daily life..like right now. I was reading and he was studying and fell asleep and I looked up and there he was so peaceful! I was DL-ing some pics on my computer..so here is a little glimpse of how we make long distance work, and yes I consider ATL to Athens long distance still..even though it def beats Africa:

This was tonight skyping! This is a majority of how we make it work.
and cheesing..
Spending time in Athens together
LOTS of Anniversary dinners
ALOT of missing each other..
Lots of date nights--and Alex's refusal to smile for pictures
Lots of BI-COASTAL dating
Going to fun concerts--this one was John Mayer
Giving Presents to each other---He is putting on his new Jordans I bought him..Why I support that, I will never know..
Taking Time for Holidays with both families..(and teaching Jackson how to pee on a tree...this was taken shortly after haha)
Lots of GYM encouragment..I'm not a huge fan of gym pics but I send them to AP
Lots and LOts and LOTS of Lake time..close to Athens and home!
Lots of Driving..
and Alex Sleeping
Spending time with his Mama when he isn't around
Playing in the snow..when we have it
Going to Tailgates together before he was on the team!
Looking for a puppy to share...I call it a Love Child
Spending time with INA
Lots of snappin pictures of what's going on and sending to each other
Especially when I am at stop lights..I need to stop doing that
Lots of family time and especially traveling as a pack!
Going back to the basics like line creek in PTC
Trips to the lake and man lessons for Jackson
Sweet date nights where we both Dress to Impress each other
Lots of support (like waiting in line for 2 hours to get his autograph!)

It's not easy, but it works.

Roe

Im shining like fireworks over your sad empty town

I feel very blessed. I recently decided to lead a small group with my bestest friend Maggie, and it has seriously ENRICHED my life..and it has only been 2 real weeks so far.

Maggz had the idea of going to Southside Church in PTC and so Chase and I (and Alex when he comes home) jumped on the bandwagon and went. I really liked it! When they talked about community groups we decided to check it out, and here we are now leading an AMAZING group of women.

Seriously I am so excited about these girls, and I can't wait to see how we can grow with each other in Christ. (and bond while watching the Bachelor afterwards..)

This weekend was fun! I haven't been to Athens in a while so I went to visit my better half and ended up shooting a music video the whole time! It was for a christian band called Cleveland. They are amazing, you should check them out...

Sunday was the Superbowl, and we had a little couples partay at Alex's apartment...I guess we were the hosts? We made dip and had lots of goodies out there...I fell asleep towards the end and woke up as Alex was carrying me to my bed! (I really hope I didn't sleep talk in front of our friends) I have started just seriously conking out when I am tired no matter where I am at!

Here's a picture update!

Watching the Superbowl with Kyle and Lisa!
Just goofin off on set!
Kendall and Justin! (look at all that junk food...yucky!)

So in attempt of making me feel better post brown hair, i try to capture moments when i am makeup and hair prepared to just feel better.

Nike Sleeping...I thought it was precious!
Took some time for a little Brick Wall Photo shoot inbetween takes!
Me and my man watching the Superbowl
I like this pic! Very artsy
Ah It's so loud out here!! Maggz nephew Whit as he enters the world..and it's just so dang LOUD!

p.s. Alex and I are trying to find a cruise for Spring break! Any ideas? Its in March..and I have had like 4 dreams about cruises in a week...so I need to book it asap!

MY "Chain"

I'm slowly but surely getting used to my brown head now..I still am a little weary, but it's seeming more normal now than before!

So last night I got to thinking about how "coincidences" in my life have lead me to great things (and sometimes not so great) It's crazy to think how one little thing changes my life direction...God you are so cool...Here is a little bit of a diagram to show you what I mean..

In college I visited Brittany in NYC--------> We decided to eat pizza in Brooklyn------>We sat next to two sweet ladies----->They worked for Nickelodeon, I was in school---->I kept in touch and got a job with Nick in NYC---> I got a job at Ellens singing-----> I then got a job at MTV News because of NICK---> I now write for MTV as a freelancer---> I saw a job for a MTV show in Atlanta---> I got the job as a casting assistant on the show because of my MTV connection and good interview----> I stopped working there, thought my world ended---->I then got a job as an actor on the show----> I ran into an old actor friend--->He told me about an audition in Newnan---> I then got connected to another casting agent and might have a job there---->Because of my MTV Freelancing TMZ asked me to work on a project---> I did and met a nice camera man---> He then got me another job for a company in LA---> My boss there asked me to travel to Spain with him--->Because of that camera man a new show is coming out and I might get to work on it traveling the world for a few months.

All because I ate pizza in Brooklyn...

and because Jesus knew how my chain would go...and how it will continue to go.

Isn't that crazy??

Whenever I get down about life and where I am currently at..I just need to look at my life, my blessings, and quite honestly SHUT UP!

Praise to the King of Glory