This is not a gossip site I am aware. I also don't believe too many people read this who I wouldn't share this with. I had the worst Valentines weekend ever. But, who knew, I would find this out. I could try to write a sappy love post. But I don't feel sappy. So here it is 100% real with my best friend in the entire world.
Amanda: no he didnt do anything wrong
Amanda: no he didnt do anything wrong
me: can i tell you something
Amanda: yuppp
?!!?
me: i do think he did something wrong. (Too intimate to share)
BUT. honestly, i have never appreciated him more..its so weird
like when it happened, i didnt know what the details were
i didnt know if ......(too intimate)
10:46 AM but for several house (i didnt sleep one wink that night)
i thought about all the guys that i fantasized about
i thought about wanting to kiss *****, and a guy from teen wolf who asked me out, and a guy i met in athens and all these people that when i get bored, i will text or imagine kissing
10:47 AM and they were nothing.
they were absolutely nothing.
i realized when i thought that i might lose him, that i only want him
ONLY him
and that it hurts that he couldnt say Im in love with haley and i need to leave
because i couldnt say that before
10:48 AM i didnt have the balls to tell a guy, look you are so great and cute, but i am madly in love with someone else
and last night, when he was laying here, i looked at him, and i knew with all my heart that i was going to marry him
100% goign to be with him forever
10:49 AM Amanda: awwww!!!
me: i love him more than i can even tell you
Amanda: that's sooo wonderful
that's sooo great
me: and it took me hurting really badly
Amanda: makes me so happy for you!!
me: to realize that he is 100% the man i will be with forever
Amanda: yea absolutely. makes complete sense :)
well what a great thing to find peace in!
me: i have never felt certain
like when you say "you just know"
but i just know
i 100% know
Amanda: uh huh :)
10:50 AM that's a-mazing
me: i know :)
and what is so cool to think about
is if i had moved out to LA
if i had just done it
or just moved to NYC in February
i can guarantee you i would not say that
or maybe ever say that
Amanda: yupppp
everything happens for a reason!
10:51 AM me: omg amanda
Amanda: and u had to have a different path than you thought to realize that
me: im going to marrry him
holy shit
Amanda: hehehe :)
do it already!! :)
10:53 AM me: haha
we are broke as a joke on coke
you are my best friend
i want you to be the one who is reminding me of this conversation
when i am freaking out at the alter
Amanda: hahahah fair enough!!!
hahaah cold feet!! you definitely will , but u wont at the same time
i wonder if i will!!
10:58 AM me: haha no you wont
i wont either
if we know its the lords plan, there are no cold feet
if you go into it without god
well i would rather not even have feet
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