Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Dating in LA...

While talking to a friend about how many douchers live within the state of California (speaking specifically of men), I started listing off the wonderful, wait no, the AWFUL (but fun) dating experiences I have had since moving here...

I know that some of the below mentioned people will probably find this/hear about this/and eventually maybe read this. Just know that, Because of you, I have learned a lot about myself, had a lot of fun, and have this funny list to share.


Here is my list of the most random/awful/hilarious/awesome datees.


1. Cocaine Kisses- a guy who left some residue in my mouth post make-out sesh. I wasn't quite sure why my mouth was numb....I do now. Welcome to LA I guess..

2. The Actor- Who when I was in the hospital came over to "help me" and I made HIM dinner.



3. The College Kid- A 22 year old punk, in his 6th year of college, who handed me back "my necklace" from his place aka DORM room, and newsflash... it wasn't My necklace


4. The "What Was I thinking"-a guy who claimed to be a "sexologist" as he held his S&M book. I was unfortunately too naive at the time to know what S&M was...for reference please check out this Rihanna video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KdS6HFQ_LUc

5. The "Can't Help But Love him"-a guy in my office who thought he could date me, my friend, my friends friend, my roommate, my roommates friend, my roommates friends friend and beyond...all of which somehow webbed together in one large circle of friends.....come onnnnnn mannnn (even though I love him and he deserves an amazing girl someday, because he legitimately is a good guy.....aka I know he will read this/know about it. JK!..BUT REALLY :))

6. The "Groom"-a guy who wanted to get married so bad that within about 6 months of us stopping dating, he was engaged and moved in with his new lover. Not questioning the integrity of that relationship, I hear he's real happy...

7. Actually go back to #6 two different times. That's right. I "Good Luck Chucked" 2 other guys....Ladies, you're welcome.
Explained reference here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Good_Luck_Chuck

8. The Comedian- who thought that me finally introducing him to my friends meant he should secretly get her number and try to hang out with her without me knowing. Good try bud. I am sure you reference me in your jokes on the reg.

9. The "Celeb"-A
 guy who was quite literally jumping from space "for my love" all while having a serious relationship with his absent girlfriend. Note: We did NOT actually date. (I really hope he doesn't read this, he might have me excommunicated from the country...I'm actually serious)

10. And finally, The constant merry-go-round- with my long-term ex-boyfriend. The 3 month check-in, the random make-out....That's just never good y'all...but everyone has to do it I guess.

There are some really good guys in this list that I mention....Some of which I am really good friends with now, Some that I avoid at all costs, and some that I don't mention because they could probably easily write 10+ things about me that were horrible when I was dating them...

That's the thing though right...Dating is weird. You aren't always your best self, and a lot of the time, you are really selfish. You actually take PRIDE in being selfish and "doing things for yourself...to find yourself." WHEN in actuality, you are just being a douchebag. I am equally as guilty of all these random/funny/embarrassing/awful things...just in different ways.

Gah, that somehow felt really good to get off my chest. Maybe I should just delete this....

not.

xoxo Haley Roe

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